Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in but_alas_i_live's LiveJournal:

Friday, July 6th, 2007
1:42 pm	set in stone Under a sky of diamond and ebony Its just you and me for Tonight and eternity Close enough for our breath To combine, our smoke lingers In the summer heat I feel your soft fingers Graze against my skin Intensifying the fire burning In my heart solely for you Making obvious my yearning We are divine truth Destiny in terms of actuality Tangible reality Set in stone Two trees growing together Intertwining as we age Becoming a singular entity Blending into a blur of one Current Mood: chill (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, February 2nd, 2007
7:45 pm	Catalyst You came along towards the end of my Breakdown in faith Serving as a catalyst To the breaking of a spirit With your soft spoken, teasing tongue You moved me Made my heart beat rhythmically Inhaled my longing Like the smoke from my cigarette Bathed in your caress Thick as blood, smooth as milk And somehow Faster than light and sound travel In a flowing, floating, streaming motion You exhaled me like poison Leaving behind sharp seething pain And a hopeless frail shell Called me Current Mood: bouncy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
10:06 pm	unknown secrets held in loosely from the world at large begging to escape into anyone's ears looking for an outlet a freedom from stale silence praying for motion fluid departure from cold, cracked lips shaky hands numb fingers praying for a partner to  share their existence with looking for love and acceptance for shoulders to cry on longing whispers of it-will- all-be-ok Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
8:08 pm	flower her legs srpead before me like a blossoming flower ripe with dew i come closer lips pressed softly against the subtlty of trembling thighs pale petals i am filled with a smell so sweet radiating from her with an intense heat i am wrapped around her finger aiming to please she tastes like saftey like sunshine Current Mood: disappointed (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 19th, 2006
12:47 pm	i wrote this today. it isnt particularly good. im just trying to figure out how it came out of ME? inhale smooth, steady, deep as if this is the last breat to ever enter your lungs and fill your heart deep with love that cannot be buried ties that cannot be broken by pettiness or by anger do not let fate lead you through life it will not take you home and dont sleep your life away its for to short for happiness to successfully withstand most importantly let your creativity shine like a beacon share your inner light with the dark if your heart is open you will find true peace with yourself and those you love Current Mood: confused (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 4th, 2006
9:10 pm	entangled in a web of cryptic messages, i roll onto my side stare at the sun blinded by heat and light, i slither into solitude the only way to mend a broken state of mind without falling into patterns of mistreatment and martyrdom without falling into patterns of one way love Current Mood: lazy (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 27th, 2006
10:21 pm	Aftertaste our moment is over but the feeling still lingers a sense of you noninvasive stays with me it has an idiosyncratic pleasure to it like a little piece of perfection a hint of your sticky lip gloss on my own lips the feeling of your velvet tongue against my own the roof of your mouth your teeth combining; recreating your presence here Current Mood: amused (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
5:37 pm	what was i to do i willingly pressed my lips to yours and hoped that something more beautiful more passionate and more honest would come from the faith i bestowed upon you with a kiss but i failed and breaking down any of your walls and barriers even for the time being i failed at romancing at seducing you and i was left wondering what came next what was i to do when i was equally wanted and unwanted by you what was i to do when i couldn't indulge to carnivore inside and nothing else could supress the hunger that scorched my body from the inside out i failed for the last time with you i failed for the last time Current Mood: bored (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
10:59 am	The Fall of a Drag Queen Tears blackened with mascara drip down his face Tainting milky white skin; staining ity like a dark ink Creating a river to drown his sins To keep them hidden from his world and his Bible He prays for forgiveness on another starless night The dark sky shunning him; pushing him away Nothing comes to comfort him: not his family Not his friends, not his God After years of being told he couldn't be loved He finally believed it; and so he pushed them all away And now he is alone Left only to find solace in the glittering surreality Of red stilettos and Judy Garland films Current Mood: bouncy (Comment on this)
Friday, May 26th, 2006
10:46 am	The Winter of YOur Love Tiptoeing barefoot through fresh snow Falling faster and faster Surrounded by a sublime white As I dance through the winter of your love Under a starless sky Truths purging their way from my lips Like songs from a place deeper than my soul As your softer side evades me I grow colder and colder Letting go of you I can feel you slipping away with the wind Disappearing off into the snowy distance You pirouette and continue on pointe As I think I’ve lost you, a soft spotlight shines down And you appear before me in a warm light Whispering the word unconditional Holding out your hand with a supreme elegance Waiting… Current Mood: energetic (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 25th, 2006
10:55 am	empty If this is what you call giving up Then I guess I’m giving up Goodbye to the romance that’s Filled both my head and my heart Cuz I’m bored with the thrill of the chase (It never really thrilled me much to begin with) And so now I force myself to look with apathy At any of the pretty girls Who might strike me as particularly fine Cuz I just don’t want it anymore Not like this It’s not worth the pain I end up feeling in the long run Nothing is An empty vessel I will remain Devoid of longing for love, romance, Or someone’s simple touch An empty vessel with out a vice An empty soul preferring to be empty Preferring to be broken and missing Just a few essential pieces Current Mood: satisfied (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
12:21 pm	Lemon Zinger Flamingly red Lemon zinger tea Splashes it’s way Down my throat Deep down inside of me Warming my core Leaving a bitter taste in my mouth The aftermath of a storm Brewed with hot water Leaves And three packets of sugar Another sip Meets pale pink lips Another surge Enters through this magnificent Orifice Splashing it’s way Flamingly red Lemon zinger tea Current Mood: drained (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 22nd, 2006
1:44 pm	Perrneial She breathes in smoggy air And shays she has a passion for it She would swallow shards Of splintered glass If she thought it would help a situation Gentle, yet resourceful Strong but able to Gracefully blow in the wind She wraps herself in darkness Listening to the words of the weak Allowing them a piece of He glowing inner light And she just sighs Current Mood: contemplative (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
4:46 pm	beaten path beaten path walk along stepping steadily sure of yourself speeding like a mack truck aimed for destruction toward your prey overcome by heat and intensity rage consuming you you letting it preferring to bear it in place of having to bear the end of the madness Current Mood: artistic (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 20th, 2006
10:33 pm	graduation tension mounts i roll over onto my side blocking the breeze there is no place for me here but this i function for nothing i break down the air is damp and so are my lungs i long to break out to stare directly into the dry sun blinding myself so i can feel more with frail fingertips i long to leave behind this cage you've built for me over the past four years Current Mood: aggravated (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 19th, 2006
10:26 am	Fences trecherous flood waters invade an already desolate consciousness wavering back and forth rushing and receding my clandestine romance i am but a fish bowl without a fish you rape me of my tranquility harsh words / soft spoken hearts fluttering you push harder with baited hook you pull / i sink lower lower lower still i hide from chain linked fences from this impracticality grind against my skin cement yourself there are things that are ok there are things that arent rushing and recedin bolt of lightening crash of thunder sudden urge irrisistable craving bad intent Current Mood: accomplished (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 18th, 2006
6:23 pm	you are the stars i am a mobile we combine we are surreal barebacked, bareboned the edges blur this seems uplifting but i'm not her spine slithers down your back i can't fulfill you i only lack staring at you skeletal frame i can't help but wonder if i'm to blame (1 Comment |Comment on this)